it’s been nearly two years since i have been here. the room looks basically the same. but i do not. not on the inside.
the adventure really started when we finally were able to make the break from Oklahoma. we left that which was familiar and secure behind, which we counted no loss, because the familiar and secure had become a prison long ago. the climate was brutal in the summer, and the winters were too short-lived and brought with them their own kind of challenges. the springs and falls were turbulent, and often disruptive. and secure does not always equate to free. it seemed a ceiling was always over us, keeping us ‘stable’ but never letting us rise.
so we finally left.
we left a few good friends behind, and whatever we couldn’t fit on the moving van. the four cats and two dogs rode in the car with me. the beau drove the van. the drive from Oklahoma to the pacific northwest was, in my opinion, most beautiful and welcome. the skies were as ever-changing as the terrain. even the boring stretched were beautiful to me. something different. i needed different. over 20 years in a place i so didn’t like had laced my soul with lead.
the arrival, four days later, was joyous, seeing my mother again. my siblings were not as excited, but were weren’t as close as i had thought we were, apparently. we settled into her RV after packing away our stuff in storage. the unknown lay before us. the beau had his own tasks ahead of him, and not long after was invested in those tasks. i set out to find work, being reasonably confident with my job history. i was in for a surprise.
it seemed all the doors i expected to be opened we not only shut, but locked. of course, being a covenant woman, i employed my faith to its limits. but as the expenses continues to pile up, the resources seemed to dry up. i spent many hours and tears crying out to God. i stormed the gates of hell. i stormed inside my heart as well. God was always faithful, and met my needs and obligations in the most surprising ways. you would think i would have begun to see it then …
after over a year of seeking the right job, i finally landed it. the beau also began his own pursuit of work, having come through his own fiery test. things have been on the upswing since then, although not without challenges. challenges will always be there.
but the greatest change has come most recently. in all my seeking the Lord, and His word, and employing my faith, i have begun to see with more clarity than i ever have. as He has promised in His word – which word He has magnified about all His name – He has begun to reveal His covenant to me. i am beginning to see what it means, not only to have Christ in me, the hope of Glory, but what it means to be in Christ, seated at the right hand of God in the heavenlies. blessed with all spiritual blessings just as He is. invited to partake of a covenant that i had absolutely nothing to do with creating, but which was made entirely for me. a covenant so secure it can never be broken, because the two parties involved are God the Father and Jesus the son of man, the second Adam. the seed of abraham. the word made flesh.
this awareness fosters in me a unique kind of excited peace, that really cannot be shaken unless i allow it. and i will not allow it. it also ignites my faith like a mighty flame. the warrior in me is standing.
so, as i said. this little room of a blog here is just as i left it some 20 months ago. but the me that has returned is nothing like the me that left.