sammy, scattering thoughts, and other activities

sammy is doing fine. she could have more energy, but at 4lbs who’s going to run around like a wild kitty? on the other hand, she seems happy, except during the 5-7 minutes every other day that we’re giving her subcu fluids. she’s pretty vocal about how she feels about that. giving a skinny cat 200 CCs of fluids produce quite the saddle bag for a while, till she absorbs it. but with her history of dehydration, its just helping her kidneys do their job. we went thru this one other time, when she was first starting management for diabetes, and her kidneys and her liver started shutting down. so she got fluids daily for quite a while, but at the vets because she seemed so on the edge. after a while we decided to discontinue the fluids, as it was getting to be more stressful for her to go every day, and we believed her kidneys were working on their own again. that vet had recommended euthenizing sammy. we said, no, God’s word would prevail. that was in 2001. i dont think we will have to give her fluids for the rest of her life now either.

my thoughts are still scattering all over. i think part of this is due to the fact that disorder in my house causes disorder in my head. the OCD i have dealt with since the early eighties drove me to keep a tight house. i have never worried about germs, but i dont like dust, hair, and especially food crumbs anywhere loose. working full time, i dont have time or will to clean like i used to, and i have overcome much of the extremities of my previous obsessions. i can deal with cat hair and dust like a normal person now. but with the decrease in time spent on dusting came also the decrease keeping things from getting messy and strewn about. thats when my thoughts equally get messy and strewn about. i have read that when a child is diagnosed with hyperactivity, they usually grow up with it, and become a hyperactive adult. i find i do have the same symptoms i have always had. to compound this challenge is having the traits of dyslexia, both  visual and auditory. now when i sit down at my table to read my Bible, study my spanish, balance my checkbook, pay my bills, sort my mail, or any other task like that, that is one of the times when the birds of thought take flight in every direction. especially if my table has become cluttered with an accumulation of papers and envelopes. and it also happens to be a favorite spot for gizmo, who tries to help me be even more distracted so i wont have to work as hard. sweet boy. and it happens the maggie likes to vie for my attention when i sit at the table, and sammy wants on my lap. what was that noise? it sounded like a thousand bird wings…

i also have a myriad of things on my mind lately. its been a bit overwhelming, i guess. i have a prequalification process going on to see what kind of house loan i can get, and thats all new territory. i have a new digital camera, and a new printer/fax/copier/scanner to learn how to use. fun, but still a lot of information to process. im learning spanish. im trying to mentally plan the move to the northwest so we’ll be ready when the time comes to move. i dont like to be last minute about things like that. most of the time i can adjust quickly, and adapt quickly, and proceed as if i had been ready. but this move is more involved than any move previously. this one involves more than two pets, purchasing a house, and having jobs waiting for us. still, i am eager to proceed. its just more mental that before. way more.

i have been trying to sort myself out as well. i havent really found a time i can seek therapy or counseling. i am torn as to whether i really need to. i havent a clue how to find what kind of person i may need. i need to make an appointment for my yearly physical, since i have insurance and can do that. but i dont care for the doctor i went to last time, so i will have to look for a nother one. sigh. more stuff to process, more stimuli to contend with. they say you can eat an elephant, if you take it one bite at a time. they never say where to start on the elephant.

sigh.

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where to begin?

i havent posted in a while, and now i dont know where to start. there has been a kaleidoscope of thoughts in my head, about a  plethora of subjects, once again feeling like i have a flock of birds in my head.

first off, we came through the recent ice storm unscathed. we have lived psalm 91 in this. thousands and ten thousands around us have lost their power and been in the cold and dark for over a week now. but the two most brutal strikes of the storm, those of freezing rains, went one to the south and one to the north of us, leaving everything covered in sheathes of thick ice. but tulsa got only the first wave, sleet that doesnt stick to power lines and trees. though the streets were paved with ice smooth like glass, and yards shined like polished white crystal, we suffered no serious damages. and so we camped indoors, like bears in our lighted cave, but awake.

this weekend we saw only cold rain, instead of the snow that was predicted to blanket us. this helped to melt what remains of the ice, until the sloppy slush is finally all gone.

sammy became rather dehydrated again friday, and wouldnt eat saturday morning. so i took her to the vet to get fluids. this time she was given subcutaneous fluids rather than an iv. easier on her, faster administration, and something i can follow up with at home when she needs more. poor little kitty … so thin, and now with saddlebags under her front legs where the water settled. but she is feeling better, and as she absorbs the water, i can give her more without having to take her anywhere. she ate some trout from my plate last night, just a little, but i wanted her to eat something. but she still has no appetite for her cat food. so i give her yogurt with a syringe, to keep her strength up till she feels like eating her food again. ah, my little patient. she is such a trooper.

i sent my mother a digital picture frame, perfect for the technologically challenged. it was a late Christmas gift. included was a memory card that had about 50+ pictures on it of various things of our daily life. she loves it!

the inward things i have been mulling around in my head have to do with my own psyche. things like how i always feel like i should be doing something else, no matter what im doing. or that i need to hurry, so i can get on with the next thing. i think this is from the old hyperactivity i was diagnosed with as a small child. i think this is why i have ‘flock of scattered birds’ thoughts so often. so many times i want to sit down and write about past things that still trouble me, or current things that bother me, only to lose what i was thinking when i actually get to the computer. the birds have scattered once again.

then there is the conflict i have over sharing my struggles. so often i have tried to, only to feel like im dwelling on things i should be walking away from. and truly, its not like i suffer deeply now. its more like, when engaging in conversations or interactions with people i am associated with, on any level, i feel so foreign, so alien. i generally feel inept at communicating. my concept of good communication seems to be different than most. my concept of most things seems to be different than most. sigh.

but if i only share my triumphs, my expressions will be shallow, hollow. what good is a triumph, if there was no struggle preceding it? i am a Christian, and that is to say i have accepted the gifts, the tools, and the weapons, that God has offered us all. it doesnt mean i have been delivered from all problems. it doesnt mean i will never face another challenge. it means i now have at my disposal all the resources of God and heaven to overcome and win every time. one of my challenges has been to learn to use those things effectively. this is where the intrusion of religion most likes to occur. but that will be another post for another day.

for now, i do feel the need to get with other, more mundane, tasks of the day. saving the world and writing great posts will have to wait, i have to take a shower and vacuum the carpet, while the beau sleeps in.

the dog, the cat, and the weather…

we have had the enlightening experience of a dog with whip worms recently. if you don’t know this, whip worms can be accompanied by some very nasty diarrhea. we thought she might have had a bacterial invasion, and she hadn’t left us a sample in the last 12 hours, but still took her in to see dr m. he found the whip worms. and cleaned out her ears as well, which had become clogged with flaky skin and such. her fur is so … well she is a chow with skin issues from an underactive thyroid, so it’s hard to inspect her. she has arthritis in the hips too. we give her pain medication for that. now we will be changing the heart worm prevention for both dogs, to one that also kills whips.

sammy spent the night at the vets again. poor old kitty was dehydrated again. her kidneys have given us somewhat of a battle recently. she’s thin, and also has been taking glipizide to control blood sugar for the last five years. she is now 17. i will pick her up after work today.

if i go to work. we had our first big ice storm last night. sleet and freezing rain, thunder and lightning, black clouds, wind. i loved it! but i am about the only one who does. the beau likes it as long as he doesn’t have to drive in it. i don’t mind, except i really don’t trust the other drivers. oklahomans panic in this kind of weather. a few act like they don’t understand that you can’t drive like normal on slick roads. the rest freeze up (no pun intended) and cling to the steering wheel as if it were a life saver in a turbulent sea. they go about 3 mph, and look ashen white. they have little idea how hard they are to drive around. sigh …

i will put up some pictures as soon as i get some good ones.

sammy is home

after three days in the veterinary hospital with IV fluids going non stop, my sammy is back home.

this is the first time she has ever spent the night in the hospital.

but all the fluids rehydrated her, and flushed out her kidneys, and brought her blood levels back down into the normal range.

thank you Jesus!

since she has been home, she has done very well. she has a good appetite, drinks water on her own, uses the litter box, and grooms herself.

its the little things in life….

few things have been as important to me on a personal level as this little gray kitty. funny how that works sometimes.

she goes back for another blood test wednesday, to see how well her kidneys are doing on their own. i expect to see good results.

sammy

when i first moved from seattle to oklahoma, it was january 4th, 1990. my marriage of ten years was breaking apart, and everything was in transition. we were there to attend a church whose pastor had been a guest speaker at another church we went to several years earlier. it was a good move in that respect. i just had no idea i would be here for 17 long years. we rented an apartment, and paid 6 months rent up front.

i was getting tired of fighting. actually, i was doing all the fighting. he was doing all the silence. he had a philosophy about relationships, ours anyway… ‘if i want to know, i’ll ask. if i want to tell him, i will volunteer’. this approach left all the responsibility of communication on me. of course, when one is not interested in communication with the other person, this is a very logical stance to take. well, i was finally worn down, and at the point where i was more willing to be left than i was to be constantly struggling to be a part of the equation. so i agreed to a separation.

‘ok’, he said, ‘maybe you can find some one from church to move in with for a while’. ahahahahaha! no. if you want to leave, you move out. you have the car, the job, the income, and the desire to leave.

it was during this process, that one day while i was home alone, i heard this MEOOOW, MEOOOOOW from somewhere out in the parking lot. so i went to investigate. i stood at the door, calling ‘here kitty kitty’, and by the second ‘kitty’ i had been zoomed upon by a small grey streak from across the lot. i picked the little furry kitten up, and she immediatley climbed up to my shoulder. so we went inside.

she had some intestinal problems at first, but i had a little money so i took her to the vet up the street, and got her some medication. she got a daily bath for about a week, till she was all well. we bonded right off. and we bonded tightly. she became my constant companion while i was at home, and always came to greet me when i got back from an outing. she would answer me when i called her name. she played fetch on the carpeted inside stairs that led down to the front door, when i threw the favored crumpled piece of paper. she was my puppy cat.

there were three times since i have moved here that i faced having to move out with nowhere to move into, and had to find accommodations for my sammy and her cat mate sing, a small siamese i inherited from a relationship that proved disasterous. God always provided something, and i never had to sleep in the street myself either. a month or two in duration each time, and something good came of it. sammy never lost faith in me. and i never lost faith in God.

about five years ago, sammy was dignosed with diabetes. i have a post on this that i wrote some time ago, on how God came through on His promises when sammy and spook, the beau’s cat of the same age, both took ill at the same time. spook developed renal failure, and sammy was found to be diabetic. both died or nearly died, and were given the worst prognosis possible, with the advice to put them to sleep. we opted to stand on the promises God made instead, and saw them come to pass when both cats recovered. spook went on to live another two years or better, and when he passed it was at home, peacefully, and without suffering.

now sammy is facing a second bout of renal trouble. she has been at the veterinary hospital overnight for two days on IV fluids, due to severe dehydration. i have already faced my battle in prayer, and have settled the matter. i will once again stand for her to recover, and when it is her time to pass, it will be peacefully as it was with spook. i made a stand the last time that when she goes to the rainbow bridge, it will not be due to illness and disease. i am standing my ground now. as i always do. God always does His part. i wont be talked out of receiving it.

 

sammy’sweet little face