today is one of those days i feel really jittery.  like i cant focus, sit still, or write. i want to write. i want to express this. but when i feel like this i have a harder time being clear. i feel like this more often than i let on. its like irritable, restless, and a bit obsessive. im glad it my early friday, and i will get off work at 1pm. one of my coworkers might be back today. she was gone for three days because her mother, who just moved to wyoming to live with her son, had a heart attack. if she is there, she will want to talk about it, and as is common where i work, will tell the story every time someone get in to work and asks about her trip. probably like that most places, but where i work since we all know each other and care about each other, stories get told 5 or 6 times. at least. its not a bad thing, and normally i dont mind. normally i am laid back, for all my hyper ness, and dont mind most of the irregularities people have. and believe me, my coworkers have irregularities. but when i feel like this, it really taxes me to have to hear someone else tell their experience over and over. never the less, i will focus on my job, and all the things i need to get done so i can leave at 1. it will help me escape. not that i dont also want to know how her trip went and how her mother is. but i will be first to hear it, and then i will hear it again every time someone comes in and asks. then i will have to hear every ones opinions, and blah blah blah. but i wont say anything, because that would be cold. its just me. im just edgy, and i dont want to put that on her since she has enough to deal with with her mother being ill.

on the other hand, i may get to work and have a completely different mood. i dont talk about my edgy feelings much because i feel so impatient when i feel this way. i can mask it as well as i want to, and when i want to no one even knows when i am edgy. today i want to, because i dont want to overshadow my friend at work. i dont even want to be in the radar. i want to be invisible. i also know the other coworker who shares the front office with us will want to share all her opinions and similar experiences. even if i wanted to say anything, i wont get a chance once she starts.

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