its been seven days since sammy died. its hard to even write the words, and then see them. its going to take me a while to used to it. there is a quiet ache in my heart, as well as relief for her. i wouldnt want her back unless she could be a young kitty again. she lived out her days, all of them, and she was a happy cat even through the worst of it.
the beau is working again this saturday. there is a rotation of who works saturdays, and he traded days with someone who needed this saturday off, which means he wont have to work a saturday all the month of march. so its worth it. next weekend we are putting up some shelves in the computer room, so we can get all the little stuff off the table and get the room finally the way we want it. it will be much more comfortable, and user friendly. maybe i can finally get the front room finished as well. i have my workout equipment, the old TV and ps2, and a piece of carpet set up. but i still dont like the arrangement. there are also still some boxes that need to be either stored or unpacked, and a mirror and some other stuff that needs put somewhere. its the last of the stuff.
its raining outside. good, i think. it doesnt rain enough here. of course thats a viewpoint from someone who grew up in portland, where it rains more. much more. but i also like overcast days. its much easier for me to see. i like sunny days like anyone, but too much sun makes me weary. here in oklahoma there are long hot stretches of intense, unrelenting, sun.i find it oppressive.
i have a table in the living room where i like to sit and study or read or peruse catalogs. it gets a bit cluttered with mail and stuff from time to time, and its my goal to keep it clearer and more in order, as it is right now. i have my spanish book i direly want to get back into now. we are getting more patients at work that dont speak english, and it will be beneficial to get it down. i also have a sign language book my friend at work gave me, that i want to conquer. a few writing projects also wait for me, such as logging in a dayminder, and a few photo projects that are long over due. i feel a surge of energy coming on for tackling these projects full force! i love that kind of stuff.
two weeks from now, and one day, is my birthday. i have always enjoyed my birthday. because i was born, i have the opportunity to know God, and to experience the world He created and all the colors and smells and tastes and sounds. i enjoy it, in spite of the way things get twisted. things can get very twisted, but that cant put out my flame. only i can put out my flame.
so its off to do stuff.i purchased a couple of new CDs yesterday, and i im going to play the loud in my house.