ok, so here’s how it happened. 
originally, my daughter in law told me she had a friend who did private investigations, and he was going to get her some preliminary information on the father. she then sent it to me, and i knew the DOB was correct, so this had to be him. there were several addresses, going back quite far, all with phone numbers and the names of other people. we both thought this was strange, and i was a bit apprehensive about calling any of them.
silly me.
while doing a little online searching myself, and finding too many people with his name, i looked up some friends who we both used to be quite close to, and with whom i remained friends with after the divorce. i found them, and made contact. they didnt know where he was, but i have reestablished a connection with them. they are that kind of people, who even though they grow they stay the same, only better. you find them again after time has passed, and its almost like you never parted. the best kind of people to know. an added treat is the she is a realtor in oregon. how perfect is that?
well, after four days, i felt like i was shooting in the dark. so just as i did when i wanted to find my son, i took this matter before the Lord, and laid it in His hands, asking not that he find me, but that i be lead to him.
the next day, yesterday actually, i called the top number on the list given to my DIL. she had called it, and was told, ‘he’s at work’, and didnt pursue it. still unsure if this was the right guy, i asked for him by full name. the woman on the other end handed the phone to another woman, and i asked again. she said, he was at work. so i told her i was a friend of his from about thirty years ago. that actually i was married to him then, and that his son wanted to meet him. she responded with much excitedment, and told me she was his wife of 15 years (holy monkeys). she told me he had been asking about his son for a long time (asking who im not sure, most likely God) and would be thrilled to meet him. once i confirmed that this was indeed the right person, i was happy i had called. it seems they are quite happy, and her daughter and two grandchildren live with them. apparently he has a daughter somewhere as well. his own adoptive mother still lives in washington, as do they.
she asked me how they could make contact, so i gave her DILs email address, explaining that at this point i would simply back out of the picture again as i didnt realloy want to reestablish contact with him. i have no ill will toward the man. i forgave him many years ago, because we were both very young and very confused. he is my sons father, and for that also i will be at peace with it. i simply will leave it be the way it is, he with his house and me with mine.
she sent an email to DIL immediately, and the reunion is beginning. my son is away at training till the end of august, and might not get to speak to his father till then. but i left him a voice mail letting him know the good news.
im pretty satisfied with how this all turned out.
the Word of God is that He will do far above all we could ask or think.

in other news thor went back to the vet thursday for an ultrasound and a culture, to try and find the cause of this persistant problem. earlier x-rays showed no signs of stones or blockage, and the ultrasound showed no tumors and healthy kidneys. the bladder however, was thickened, indicating either an infection or an irritation. so it will be up to the culture to tell us if there is infection and which one, or if it is sterile cystitis, treated with antiinflammitories. i wonder what juicy flavors they all come in … Sarcastic   for a cat who has had such a hard time with this, he sure pissed alot in the carrier while waking up from the anesthesia. wet stinky wobbly kitty. ive learned so much about cat health.
sammy is doing well, but recently acting tired of her food. i dont blame her. she misses her chicken. Sad
maggie has had a behavioral quirk recently. on weekend days, when we get home from work, she promptly leaves a steamy log on the floor somewhere, right before i feed everyone. all the rest of the time she uses the box. crazy cat. she is the psycho of the bunch. always has been a little different. she will get something in her head, and there is no changing her mind or convincing her otherwise. she just has to work it out herself. she can look at one of us, get this panicky expression, and go hide for a while. we might be watching a movie, or some other quiet activity, when this occurs. because she has had a treat from a plastic spoon, she now feels as though she is entitled to every spoon every time. and she is most vocal about it. sigh. Thinking
one never knows what she is thinking
gizmo, while being a prima donna, never has health issues. mental ir physical. hes just a saucey little boy. he likes his way, is very stubborn about things he wants, and would rather let the dogs run over him and complain about it than just move out of the way. hes mostly mellow, but does have a quick temper and an attitude. probably a prince in another life. maybe a princess. Eye-rolling
not that he belongs on my table …