next friday i will be going to see an ophthalmologist. i havent seen an eye doctor in many years. my eyes have always been good – 23/30 vision. but in the last year working at the clinic my eyes have had to endure severe fluorescence and heavy computer use. the floaters have increased to the point of distraction

this has me thinking about things.

when i was little, i was diagnosed with amblyopia, or lazy eye. it seems my brain didnt completely receive all the signal from my left eye, for whatever reason, and favored my right eye. this caused me to have mild depth perception problems. things always look a little closer than they are. really messed up my attempts at racket ball, tennis, and other ball games. in the sixth grade i was given a pair of glasses, but they slid down my nose so much i couldnt stand them. they did make things crystal clear, but were so annoying i finally left off wearing them. in my twenties i had a second pair, after my last eye exam. same thing happened.

thinking about the amblyopia made me think about dyslexia. i have never been diagnosed with this, but i know i am dyslexic. perhaps not as severely as some, but enough to contend with.

i have always had to stop and think which way is left and which is right. columns of numbers are next to impossible to cope with. as are rows of numbers. i have to place my finger on the numbers to read them. otherwise they dance around and change places, and become other numbers. makes entering patient information interesting. in grade school i took piano lessons. i think i could have become a good player, but i could not read the music. i understood the sheet music, but had to work out the song by reading each note aloud, counting the spaces to determine which note it was. once i had learned the song, i could play it with my heart, and forget about the sheet. but it was such an effort getting there. i had the same problem learning the routines in dance classes. i could not easily tell what the teacher was doing. so to do the same was harder for me than the rest of the class. again, once i learned the dance, i could soar.

the other side of this is the visual thinking. i think in pictures. everyone visualizes, but i think in mostly pictures. i see the thing. when i plan my day, or a series of tasks, i watch it play out in my head first, making adjustments or changes to the movie in my head. then i do it, and it falls together wonderfully. i solve problems the same way. the funny thing is, language is one of my strengths. understanding composition, how to string words to create the right image in my listeners mind, and such. as long as i dont have to read much, or write by hand much … and yet i love to write. its like drawing, in a way. but my spelling is challenged by certain letter combinations, and often the order is wrong or there are letters missing. texting is a breeze. typing is not. and why are the numbers on the keypad upside down to the numbers on the phone? sigh …

i love spellcheck!

add to this mix hyperactive, which i was diagnosed with around age three, and given ritalin for a brief time as treatment, and you have a very different sort of person.