sammy is doing fine. she could have more energy, but at 4lbs who’s going to run around like a wild kitty? on the other hand, she seems happy, except during the 5-7 minutes every other day that we’re giving her subcu fluids. she’s pretty vocal about how she feels about that. giving a skinny cat 200 CCs of fluids produce quite the saddle bag for a while, till she absorbs it. but with her history of dehydration, its just helping her kidneys do their job. we went thru this one other time, when she was first starting management for diabetes, and her kidneys and her liver started shutting down. so she got fluids daily for quite a while, but at the vets because she seemed so on the edge. after a while we decided to discontinue the fluids, as it was getting to be more stressful for her to go every day, and we believed her kidneys were working on their own again. that vet had recommended euthenizing sammy. we said, no, God’s word would prevail. that was in 2001. i dont think we will have to give her fluids for the rest of her life now either.

my thoughts are still scattering all over. i think part of this is due to the fact that disorder in my house causes disorder in my head. the OCD i have dealt with since the early eighties drove me to keep a tight house. i have never worried about germs, but i dont like dust, hair, and especially food crumbs anywhere loose. working full time, i dont have time or will to clean like i used to, and i have overcome much of the extremities of my previous obsessions. i can deal with cat hair and dust like a normal person now. but with the decrease in time spent on dusting came also the decrease keeping things from getting messy and strewn about. thats when my thoughts equally get messy and strewn about. i have read that when a child is diagnosed with hyperactivity, they usually grow up with it, and become a hyperactive adult. i find i do have the same symptoms i have always had. to compound this challenge is having the traits of dyslexia, both  visual and auditory. now when i sit down at my table to read my Bible, study my spanish, balance my checkbook, pay my bills, sort my mail, or any other task like that, that is one of the times when the birds of thought take flight in every direction. especially if my table has become cluttered with an accumulation of papers and envelopes. and it also happens to be a favorite spot for gizmo, who tries to help me be even more distracted so i wont have to work as hard. sweet boy. and it happens the maggie likes to vie for my attention when i sit at the table, and sammy wants on my lap. what was that noise? it sounded like a thousand bird wings…

i also have a myriad of things on my mind lately. its been a bit overwhelming, i guess. i have a prequalification process going on to see what kind of house loan i can get, and thats all new territory. i have a new digital camera, and a new printer/fax/copier/scanner to learn how to use. fun, but still a lot of information to process. im learning spanish. im trying to mentally plan the move to the northwest so we’ll be ready when the time comes to move. i dont like to be last minute about things like that. most of the time i can adjust quickly, and adapt quickly, and proceed as if i had been ready. but this move is more involved than any move previously. this one involves more than two pets, purchasing a house, and having jobs waiting for us. still, i am eager to proceed. its just more mental that before. way more.

i have been trying to sort myself out as well. i havent really found a time i can seek therapy or counseling. i am torn as to whether i really need to. i havent a clue how to find what kind of person i may need. i need to make an appointment for my yearly physical, since i have insurance and can do that. but i dont care for the doctor i went to last time, so i will have to look for a nother one. sigh. more stuff to process, more stimuli to contend with. they say you can eat an elephant, if you take it one bite at a time. they never say where to start on the elephant.

sigh.

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