blood bought

being a covenant woman, i understand the value of things that are purchased with blood. therefore i do not take lightly the freedoms i have in this country. i have the freedom to live where i choose, to speak my mind, and to worship God openly. i have the freedom to get any education i can afford or qualify for. i have the freedom to pursue my interests, live in any financial status i can achieve, and choose what i do for a living. i have the freedom to complain about the things i dont like, and make a stab at changing them if i feel so inclined. i even have the freedom to leave this country, if i chose to.

the blood that purchased these freedoms, and the blood that spills to defend them, is precious to me. and the families of those who shed that blood are precious to me.

though we set one day aside to honor those beloved soldiers nationally, as the mother of a marine i remember them all year long. i remember too, those who were wounded, and those who gave their time and their sweat away from their families, suffering the horrors and rigors of war, who came home but left something of themselves behind.

i may not speak of it much, but i carry them in my heart always.

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2009 and the mirror of God

there is something psychological about new years day. realistically, its no different than the day before. but being the first day in a new calendar year gives it an almost magical quality, making it a portal into a new world. the possibilities for change, for breakthroughs, for victories, for new exploits, are endless.

this year im not making the conventional resolutions. i dont want to make a list of things i want to accomplish this year. a year can be a long time, and resolutions fade quickly as events take place. lists are lost or forgotten. or abandoned.

instead, i am focusing on who i am in Christ. there are two sides to who we are. status, or where we stand in regard to God, and identity, or who we are inside. i am a covenant woman, and a child of the Living God, with firstborn status. however that is just the beginning of it.

i desire to really see who i am. that may sound unreligious when so many preach against ‘i’. but the new testament says to put on the new man, created in the image of Christ, and that requires some focus on ‘i’. its kind of a paradox, because it also requires focus on Christ, since the new me is created in His image. the Lord showed me something a long time ago about mirrors, that taught me how to look at myself. sometimes i forget to do it, and thats when i lose sight. this year i am going to stare into the mirror.

1 corinthians 3:18 

But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

what do you see when you look into a mirror? you see your reflection. you see what you look like. imagine a man blind from birth. he may have an idea from feeling what his appearance is, but he has never seen his own face. conversely, that same blind man would recognize someone he knew by their voice and their manner. the mirror of  God reflects the nature and character, rather than the external appearance. ‘as beholding in a glass the glory of the Lord’. it gets really good when when you look up the meaning of glory.

 

so thats what im doing this year. im looking into the mirror of God.

google Tags: mirror,glory of God,new years day

like a bandit

i certainly got some nice stuff this year. the beau rather showered me with gifts. a beautiful little glass dragon to go with my growing collection, and a beanie baby zebra (the character from ‘madagascar’) to add to my zebra collection. a new bottle of esté lauder spellbound, my favorite and signature scent. yet another gaming system, a ninetento ds. my mother sent me a black velvet cape with a red velvet lining. and a co worker of the beaus gave us a set of mel brooks classics and a couple of games for the beaus psp. what spoils!

i always feel i little twinge when i am so blessed with things, i think of the the people i share this planet with who dont have. im not being all righteous, and i dont feel guilty for being blessed. i would just like to bring everyone into my blessed state. there is more than enough to go around, and always has been. the God who created this planet is the God of more than enough, the God of abundance.

now today we have a forecast of 71º and thunderstorms. crazy weather pattern this year. i put our turtle outside. he has been spending time in a box because the beau likes to keep a turtle in the yard during the warm months. kramer, who we had for over ten years, and who died during the ice storm last year even though he was inside in a cage, was our resident turtle before. he had such personality, and was mostly friendly. this crazy ninja turtle is a different kind, and has a cranky temperament. we still like him, but we dont try to pet his head. we like our fingers too.

so i think we will be staying in today, most likely playing video games. did i mention i got two more games for ps3? the new prince of persia, and dead space. good thing i dont have to do homework anymore. id never get it done. have to tell the teacher i lost in space, or a sand monster got it …. never mind.

and just so you know, i havent lost the meaning of Christmas just because i revel in all my stuff. quite the contrary. i revel in the abundance of blessings that are mine through the covenant i have with God. these blessings came at a high price to Him, and reach far beyond the tangible items i enjoy. they also include health, protection, peace, and joy (which is my strength). they include a security in my ultimate future as well as my temporal present. these are things that carry me through the hard times when i face trials. the stuff can come and go, and there is always more where they came from. but the intangible things i never lose, and are the reason i have access to the stuff.

now let me leave you with a thought. God has given us great prosperity as part of the covenant. but no one said you have to keep it all.

google Tags: Christmas,weather,turtles,covenant

the thanksgiving that was

thanksgiving day has come and gone, but i remain thankful in my heart for the gift God has given me. to think, i had my son and his family in my house for thanksgiving. there we were, three generations that started with me. it was something i wasnt sure would ever happen when i gave him up so long ago. but then, God is good, and does far above all we can ask or think.

we picked them up at the airport just after nine wednesday night. the beau saw to it we had a rental SUV for the visit, which was much easier to do things in, what with a car seat and all the gear one takes with a baby. my son gave me such a hug at the airport, i felt truly like a mom. i also felt kind of short, even with all my five feet and eight inches, because he is 6′2″ and she is 5′11″. im not used to being short.

thanksgiving morning i started early and got the turkey going, and made my stuffing with pepperidge farm cornbread stuffing, celery, apples, and black walnuts. i tried adding whole cranberries too. hmmm, kind of tart they are. it was still good. she made green bean casserole, and i made pumpkin pie with graham cracker crust, from scratch. all in all, it turned out to be a pretty good meal, even with out the yams and the potatoes. oh well. it was still too much food, and just good to be with them.

the beau had to work friday, so i took them out for breakfast, which turned out to be lunch because we got out late. then it was on to the mall for some black friday marathon shopping for baby shoes. i think the beau was glad to be bored at work instead of with us for that. but it was more about them than me, so it was ok. i enjoyed it in some aspects, even though we were there much longer than i thought we would be.

it was fun having sienna here. she was a bit fussy, but she is just learning to walk, and really doesnt like being in a playpen or a spinner seat anymore. she is acquiring a little autonomy, and with it just a little independence. she kept us very busy in the evening, trying to keep her from getting hurt or into things not for baby. sigh. still, she is a happy baby, and not cranky. i was just amazed to see the offspring of my offspring.

saturday i took them to the airport for their 6:35 flight out. all the flights to the west coast are 6am or 6:35 am from tulsa. my boy sent a text when they arrived in california. he will be in camp pendleton a bit longer because he re-upped for another four years just before thanksgiving. he wont be going to iraq again,  however. that was a stipulation of re enlisting. he will go to okinawa for eight months instead. he still plans to enter law enforcement, but it takes longer than he expected to get through all the exams and entry processes, so re enlisting will keep him till then. i think its a good plan. he took my zune with him, to load music on it for me from his. he has hundreds of songs and videos. he is good with that sort of thing, and we like much of the same music. fancy that. its nice to have something he can do for his mom. nice for me too. *big smile*

it was a little stressful, even though i loved having them here, but only because its a challenge for me to tolerate other peoples little habits and and ways of doing things, especially in the kitchen. if i wasnt so picky it wouldnt be such an ordeal for me. but i tried not to show it, since it was only for two days, and now everything it back to normal. small price to pay for the pleasure of having my children here with me. had i raised him myself, i might not have become so anal about my environment. they had a good time, and thats what matters. the beau isnt used to company either, and im sure he had to make allowances too. he was really sweet to them, though, and didnt seem uncomfortable at all.

all in all, it was a good few days. i look forward to many more days spent with them.

google Tags: holidays,thanksgiving,family

does she still live here?

its been so long since i posted, it must seem as though im not coming back. i have, however, no intentions of abandoning my post. i have been otherwise occupied over the last few months, preparing my garden for winter, buying christmas gifts to get them mailed early, and contending with an old computer tower that was having an aneurysm. the computer problem was the biggest hindrance to posting, though. it began to click off, and then come right back on again. occasionally at first, and then with more frequency, until it was doing it sometimes 6 or 7 times in a row. this made posting, and listing on our ebay site, impossible.

we now have a new tower, and we purchased a new flat screen monitor a while back, so we are well off now. it was a good time to get a new tower, because the bugs in vista seem to be fixed. it seems fine so far.

right now my son and daughter in law, and my new granddaughter, are sleeping in my living room. we flew them out for thanksgiving, as our christmas gift to them. i havent seen my baby boy since the wedding two years ago, and this is my first time seeing the baby. she is such a good baby too. and looks like her daddy. the girls in my family usually do look like their fathers. the boys in turn look like their mothers. the last time my son was here, he was just about to turn 18, and we lived in a tiny apartment with 3 windows. now we have a house with about 1600 sq ft, and he is 30. seems like no time has gone by, just the same.

i will be posting pictures after the holiday. they will be here today and tomorrow, and fly back early saturday morning. i will tell you all about it then. in the mean time, i will be soaking in every moment.

Technorati Tags: thanksgiving,family,computer problems

a tail of two kitties

its been an eventful weekend already. this will be a lengthy post … so be ready.

it started thursday morning. i had maggie and thor in the cat room, where they go on their own now when i nudge them a bit, and usually wait patiently. as i was bringing nozi in thor did the unexpected and broke his pattern. he dashed out of the room. when he did, my reaction was to try to shut the door before he reached it. he got mostly clear of the door … all but his tail. ouch! well of course he cried out, but ran again when i reopened the door. he didnt act any differently than he ever does when trying to escape the inevitable, and ran back into his room after a lap around the house. that evening when we got home, we saw he was acting like he had a problem. his poor tail had a gash in it, and was obviously paining him. so next morning, since the beau was on the first day of his first week vacation, after dropping me off at work, dropped thor off at the vets. he had a dental on his plan, so the doc put him under, cleaned his teeth, and stitched up his tail while he was out. that little ten pounds of cat is all muscle, and like a small tiger when he doesnt want to cooperate. we had to give him a rinse off when we got him home, as he had pissed in his carrier. that was more difficult than i thought with him still loopy from the anesthesia. maybe worse as he was all freaked out from being dizzy. we got through it mostly unscathed, except for the scratches on the beaus hand. then off to the cage to recoup.

this is the second tail we have had to have repaired this year. gizmo had his tail bitten by nozi in a scuffle not long ago. it gave him quite the abscess, which he licked enough to drain it, and then the vet cleaned it and bandaged it. his was bandaged for over a week, and had to have wet and then dry compresses, along with antibiotics. but he left his tail alone, and didnt need to wear the collar which he wouldnt stand for any way. thors tail, on the other hand, is in open air, and he wont leave the stitches alone, so we have to put the collar on him, and keep the little tiger caged because he runs all over the house banging into everything with the collar on.

sigh.

friday wasnt over yet. we had purchased a storm door from lowes, and scheduled the installation for friday, when the beau would be home. apparently, for a 36″ door they will send the contractor out to pre measure the door jam to make sure there will be a good fit before you ever buy the door. but for a 32″ such as ours, they do not consider it necessary. i dont know why. the contractor took one look at our doorway and knew it was not going to fit. the door wouldnt fit into the recess properly. this caused us no little trouble. it was my early friday, so i was off work by then, and at my hair appointment when the contractor arrived on schedule at home. so he and the beau, most displeased by now, went to lowes to see what alternatives were possible. none of the doors were suitable, mostly because they either wouldnt fit as well, or were not what we wanted. the beau was really pissed off when he found out about the pre measure policy for larger installs, because he wasnt even told he could choose that as an option. it is standard on the larger doors, but available on the smaller ones for a mere $35. available, that is, if youre told about it. which we were not. so the clerk that sold us the door made the decision to save us $35 without even asking us. this resulted in the beau, and me too really, being really irate, demanding a refund, and getting $100 cash from the store manager for all the trouble it caused us, the time it used up unprofitably, and the personal aggravation. so we did not get the door installed, we did not have time to work on getting stuff ready for the neighborhood garage sale happening the next day, and we still had to bring thor home from the vet.

geez!

saturday went better than i thought it would. the beau took some boxes to the post office, and by the time he got back there were hundreds of people going from house to house that had sales going on. we werent ready at all, but started putting stuff out anyway. people started coming up and buying stuff before we even got things organized. it was crazy, but in a good way. we made over $200 in the first couple of hours, and got rid of a lot of stuff, and all with a later start than every one else.

so now its sunday morning, and we have no plans except going out to the bass pro shop later today. i still have today, monday, and tuesday off, and the beau is off till next monday. a well deserved vacation too. we both have had really busy days at work.

ahhh … long weekends.

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the whole point of Christmas

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i thought maybe it just didnt feel like Christmas this year. then i began to think, what exactly does Christmas feel like anyway? a kind of vague happy mood, because of all the decorations and lights, the traditional foods and eggnog, and cards in the mail? i have been giving this some thought.

from a Christian point of view, im expected to get all reverent and talk about how Christ was born and the gift God gave us and all that. truth is, i think about that all year. i dont associate the holiday trappings with the birth of my Lord on earth, even though i was raised as a catholic, and used to go to midnight mass every Christmas eve – which i loved, because i like celebrating that event. it just seemed to me like Christmas coincided with our little celebration of Jesus’ birth.

then there is the rest of it. the holly, the lights, the gift giving, and the dinner. it all can be fun, and pretty, but what exactly is the point? as a child, i thought the point was the gift giving. but really, there are so many traditions that stem from so many different sources, i guess the point now is just to have a holiday to celebrate. which is full circle from the early origins in the holiday, when people were celebrating the winter solstice, at which point the days again begin to get longer and the nights begin to get shorter. it seems even the people in the southern hemisphere have their winter holidays.

so it seems the whole point of having a holiday in the middle of winter is to relieve the winter blues, and give people something to look forward to. but Christmas isnt as much fun as it used to be. i dont think its because im grown up. i think its because the whole point has been obscured, at least here in america.

during the depression franklin roosevelt extended the shopping days to start the day after thanksgiving, to boost the economy. it was a good idea for the time. but it became a tradition in itself, a purely commercial tradition, because most retail stores do such a big part of their business between thanksgiving and Christmas. especially on black friday. i think, over time, it got pushed more and more, so that the focus of Christmas was on buying gifts, buying decorations, buying holiday food, buying everything. people get really stressed over getting their shopping done in time, and getting something for every one. its not fun. its work. its frustrating being stuck in traffic, having to weave through crowds of people, having to stand in long lines to pay for your stuff, just so you can go home and spend all evening wrapping presents.

i think im going to have fun, and enjoy a festive mood again. i wanted to shop this year instead of giving gift cards, and my plans were delayed two weeks because of the ice storm. the beau and i had to face the push of the crowds, something neither of us enjoy. but we managed to get through it unscathed, had a nice supper at quizno’s, and went home. the gifts will be new years gifts instead of Christmas gifts, but oh well. thats not the point.