crashed . . .

. . . but not burned. when i turned on the computer this morning, all i got was a screen notification that said my system file was corrupted, and nothing could be opened. ack. dig out the restore cd-rom.  lost all our files, pictures, bookmarks, settings. sigh. it could have been so much worse, however.

when i got to work i found out one of my coworkers, who had been building a house on some recently purchased property, had withstood some damage from severe straight winds that had blown through during the night. upwards of 80 mph i believe. she and her husband had just sold most of their belongings and moved into an RV to live in while they continued building, having just sold their old property as well. they have horses, so they were building a barn attached to the house. the RV was parked next to the barn. the wind sheered the barn structure, but left the house structure undamaged. the RV was rocked, but left upright. this was at about 2:30 am. the horses are fine, they are fine, and the 2 cats and 1 dog are ok. i dont yet know if their RV is still livable.

so my minor inconvenience is nothing more than mildly annoying. but i did get my previous old fonts back, and i am pleased with that.

i have begun praying in the last few days for all my coworkers, and coming headlong against some serious strongholds that have been around for some time. it can be like stirring up a hornets nest when one begins to bring down old strongholds. things have gotten stirred up a bit here and there at work. but i am not backing off. i will pull harder and more fiercely until the walls come down. its invigorating to be in spiritual battle once again. i didnt realize how i missed it.

google Tags: prayer, spiritual warfare, storms, computer crashes

 

resurrection day

i never was much into the rabbits and chickens thing, although i liked getting the chocolate bunny every year. thats more because it was a huge piece of solid chocolate with permission to eat it, than because it was a rabbit. i wouldnt have cared if it had been a chocolate alligator. i liked dying the eggs, because it was one of those rare things i did with my mom, and i like colors, and decorating things.

but i never got the connection between all that and then going to church. raised as a catholic we did all the major holidays like that. a mix of pagan and christian focus. it didnt really bother me, and i never felt like i was lied to when i found out santa didnt really come to my house with gifts on christmas night. i didnt feel like everything was a lie because some things were designed to delight and entertain children. i never considered God someone invented to play games around at holidays. besides, He was real in my life even back then, before i heard much of the gospel.

i just knew He was real. as a child, i hadnt learned to be sophisticated and cynical. i hadnt learned to explain things away. i still havent learned to explain things away. when He moved on my heart, or spoke to my spirit, i knew it was Him. mixed into the catechism i was taught in the catholic grade school i attended was some actual biblical teaching, and my heart always responded to it with faith. faith is instinctive to the spirit. the doubts arise when we are presented with the old ‘did God really say?’ questions.

one easter - actually it was good friday - i was thinking about how Jesus hung on that cross for so long. i wondered what that must have felt like. i had a set of monkey bars in my back yard that was in the shape of a rocket tilted to the side as if for blasting off, so i hung by my hands from the tip, just to see what it felt like. it didnt take very long before my arms really began to ache and my chest felt constrained. not even five minutes, i suppose. i really began to think about it then. it really hit home what an ordeal it must have been. it changed me.

of course, being born again really changed me. that was my first taste of being raised from the dead myself. it was way more than a new mind set. it really made me different inside. actually, it took a while for my mind to line up with the difference inside. im still working on that, to be honest. but just because i dont write about it all the time, that doesnt mean im not really different on the inside than i was before. its like, being a broken lamp. then being rewired, and given a new bulb, and being plugged into a constant power source. then, when i was baptized in the Holy Spirit, it was like pulling the cord and letting the power flow, lighting up the whole lamp. trust me, that takes more than a belief system to accomplish. it takes power. resurrection power.

google Tags: easter, faith, resurrection

grief

google Tags: grief, cats, pet loss

it occurred to me today that i have to let my friends - or i should say sammys friends - grieve her passing too. not that i wouldnt. but when i dropped off gizmo for re bandaging his tail, and cinnamon for vaccinations, one of the girls i hadnt seen since her passing came out to say hello. she asked how i was, and spoke of her affection for sammy.

at the vet clinic she was a star. everyone loved her, and thought she was amazing for her fortitude, her happy mood, her attitude. she was always a real people kitty, preferring humans to other cats. however in her older years, she warmed up to spook, who passed four years ago, and more recently thor, who adored her. but she remained very drawn to people.

myself, i had been passing through the grief for a couple of months already before she faded. since her diagnosis of diabetes, she had had several episodes of a strange kind of seizure that rocked her for several moments, much like epilepsy. it always left her kind of unsteady for a few hours, and each time left her hind legs with a little more neuropathy. otherwise she always recovered. they werent too frequent, at least. then in early january we came home to find her hypothermic, rather stiff and unable to stand. she still had an appetite, and seemed in her ever good spirits in spite of it. i fed her, and bathed her in warm water, and we sat with her by the fire till she was all toasty again. she still seemed limp, even so. and her legs were a little worse again. that night, i held her on my chest while i tried to sleep, but i cried quietly into my pillow while she slept soundly. that night, thats when i really let go. i had let go for her sake long ago, letting her know i would let her go when she was ready to go, but would do all i could to help her along till that time. but that one night i faced the reality that i would go on living without her soon. and i grieved most of the night. every day after that was a step in the process. when the time finally came, i had already gone through much of the anguish, and was braced for the inevitable passing of my little gray companion. it still stung, but i was alright.

so when i encountered a girl who was still stinging from the loss of one of her favorite patients, i was almost surprised. maybe i just didnt realize how much some of them adored her. it touched me. so, i retraced my own steps a little, and grieved again, with her.

i will remember this, the next time i must face the loss of a loved one, that i must allow others to grieve the loss as well, and join them in it to help them through it. grief is something we all face alone in some ways, but we also share it with those with whom we share the loss. God said we as believers didnt have to grieve as the world grieves, but He didnt say we wouldnt ever encounter it. rather, it didnt have to be that debilitating thing that cripples some, and wounds many, and destroys a few. He goes through that valley of tears with us from the inside out, and enables us to face the demons of loss and conquer them. its way more then merely easing our emotional distress. its an empowering of the highest kind. it changes our perspective, and that can make all the difference in the world.

the thought process

i had my annual eye exam last friday. my eyes are healthy, and the floaters i had last year have disappeared. glad for that, they were really annoying. only thing is my vision is a little bit more blurry, so im getting bifocals. thats ok, because my distance vision has always been a little indistinct. lately when i take off my reading glasses, after wearing them all day at work, my eyes dont want to shift back to normal. the nose pieces really bother my nose anyway.

i had glasses when i was about 8, because i was diagnosed with amblyopia, but they bothered my nose too much so i quit wearing them. i got them again when i was 26, because i have trouble reading the signs between grocery aisles from the end of the aisle, and they really made everything clear. i could see needles on fir trees from a block away. but, they bothered my nose, and constantly slipped down. so i abandoned the idea of wearing glasses. i always had 20/30 vision anyway. it was just this left eye that has the mild amblyopia. its only since i had the onset of all those floaters last year that prompted me to see the optometrist in the first place. besides, its good to get check ups since i have good insurance now and can afford id it.

so the new bifocals, which will be ready tuesday, will be different. they will be a lightweight plastic with no nose pieces, and they will fit differently so they wont slip down. at least i hope not. but they wont bother my nose. they will also get darker when i go out, which will be a plus because i can wear them driving. the best little add on will be the rose tint over the lenses, to minimize the harsh fluorescence i work under. this is wonderful, because colored tinting helps a dyslexic with reading, and rose works best for me.

all this got me to thinking. amblyopia, dyslexia, hyperglycemia, and a history of migraines. these are the things i have challenged me for half a century, in a world designed for none of them. none of them is severe, except the migraines, and the most frequent trigger for them is gone now. yet not being severe has made it challenging in other ways. it is just enough to make me stumble, but not enough to be evident there is a challenge. it has played hell with my interactions with other people, and strained my relationships. add to this the borderline personality disorder, or whatever it is. now the picture gets even more grim.

i was raised not to complain. actually, my mother couldnt deal with my personal struggles, so i was shamed for complaining about them. and truly, i have an innate trait that wont allow me to cave to my own problems. i know there are others with far worse afflictions. and so i am not complaining now. merely introspecting.

i do not define myself by these anomalies. i dont even claim them as mine. i do, however, identify with people who have challenges that arent apparent to the outside world. i actually enjoy membership in the island of misfit toys. this may seem contradictory to my stance as a covenant woman, but it isnt. rather, its a part of my testimony.

i define myself by who the bible says i am. i am more than an overcomer. i am a new creation. but what i am in Christ isnt always apparent either. this is where my testimony is. this is where my walk of faith lies. the Word of God is like a mirror, reflecting the image of Jesus, Who is the image of God. the more i look into that mirror at that image looking back at me, the more i begin to look like that image. that image really is what my born again spirit looks like, created in His image. its my mind, my will, and my emotions, that look like the old me. the body is just where i live. as my mind begins to conform to the new me, i gain more and more victory over the anomalies. and any other thing that rises up against what the Word says is mine. i get freer and freer of the old things that held me captive. like the rages. they are getting less severe, and further between, and less easily triggered. i havent got there yet, but im pressing on.

so in spite of my challenges with how my brain is wired, my struggles with my past, and the ever constant stream of things that weigh on me, i cant but hold my head up, because i know im a champion in the making.

more real

Technorati Tags: faith,God,believe

i was talking to my friend at work the other day about the things of God, and hearing His voice, and faith. she was intrigued when i told her that heaven was more real to me than here. but ever since i first decided to really follow after God, the reality of His presence has been with me. i remember walking down the street early one sunday morning, and the knowledge that i was a member of a different kingdom simply overwhelmed me. i thought, people will see me and not have a clue anything is different, but i am different now. im on a different team now.

that sense has never left me.

maybe its because i really believe it. there was a man that went to the bible study i had started going to who had been a Christian way longer than i had, who tried to offer some useful advice when he saw how excited i was over knowing Jesus. he told me not to trust my feelings. he said i would get over these feelings of excitement. in 28 years i have not gotten over those feelings. they have simply matured. its not that i havent gone through some very dry, barren places. its not that i havent faced some severe, long standing battles. i have been tried sorely, just as any believer is. but the thing is, those ‘feelings’ i had in the beginning werent my reason for believing. they were the result of my believing. i really believe God loves me. i really believe heaven is my destination. i really believe all the promises of God are yes and so be it in Christ. i may not act like a girl who has just fallen in love, like i was then. i would hope not. love is supposed to grow and deepen over the years. but i still believe i have a covenant with God, i have a relationship with God, i am infused with His Spirit, and His Word is the exact image of God - and all the things i believed in the beginning. and i still have feelings that are the result. if anything, my feelings are deeper. i know God better, and have more experience with his absolute faithfulness to His Word, and am more acquainted with that word. its that Word that i trust, and the God that the Word reveals.

and His presence is more real than ever.

its not like i dont ever have feelings of fear, discouragement, anger. i live in the same world everyone else does. and its a hostile place. it gets under my skin from time to time. often, really. and knowing that God is faithful to His Word, and experiencing His faithful results all the time, sometimes makes it even harder. because i know im nobody special. its not because of me.

this is what i was explaining to my friend at work. she often thinks i must different than her, and thats why i hear God speaking to me often. or why i get results all the time. or whatever. i told her the only real difference between me and her was likely that i just really believe the Word. all of it. i may not understand all of it. but i believe it, and i know God well enough now to know that He is consistent, and faithful to His Word.

and knowing that makes it more real to me than the world i live in.

retroflection

Technorati Tags: rage

this could prove triggering to some. use your own discretion.

 

the other night the beau and i were talking about rages, and what triggers them. we both have had rages, where one goes beyond angry to something that almost has a life of its own. i have never seen him raging, and when he told me of one of three instances, im glad i havent. however, in his recounting of what he was feeling, what he remembers, i understood.

i have come close to really going off the edge, but have never plunged into that black hole because i know if i did i would be capable of something truly horrible. these days, im not nearly so susceptible to those triggers as i once was, and yet, i still feel them as i always have. they just dont take me as far as they once did.

after our conversation the other night, i see more clearly what those triggers are.

when i entered grade school, my whole life changed. as early as first grade i found out what it is to be the social outcast and the scapegoat. it was a catholic school, so everyone wore the same uniform, and the rich and the poor all looked the same. but nothing could be done to blur the lines between the ‘entitled’ and the ‘unentitled’. in my class, it seems i was about the only one in the latter group. to this day, i still dont have an answer for why i was cast off from the rest. i only know how it molded me.

early on it was made clear to me that whatever it was that one needed to belong, i didnt have it and i never would. but they took it much further than simple rejection. it became a sport to humiliate me. this is the kind of thing that adults dont recognize children doing to one another. furthermore, if they did, they are powerless to stop it, because once the other children decide you are their target, they refuse to see you as their classmate. if you cry, they make fun of it. if you take it, they act justified. if you try to ignore it, they step it up a few notches until you are worn down. physical bullying would have been better, because its recognizable. but my abusers used words. my teachers responded as though it was all in my head. my mother, who herself had been chased home from school with rocks, and called ‘cat licker’ for being catholic, simply told me i was to blame for being too bossy.

seven years i faced this at school. i hated school. strangely, i didnt get angry then. i spent my time feeling bewildered. but the stress was building. at the same time, i was learning how people play mind games, and i could recognize a game in anyone. i could also recognize the motive. when i fell prey, it was not because i was fooled, but because i wanted to belong so badly. i possessed all that understanding, and no coping skills to deal with it.

the dye was cast. when i entered junior high school, i was twisted enough to attract the cruel kids. but at least then it was only a certain few. however, my mother had remarried, and my stepfather had a daughter two years older than me. i tried to be friends with her, but she was insanely bitter about the divorce of her parents, and hotly resented the marriage. she came to live with us, and everything i had endured in grade school was now living in my house. i cannot tell you all she put me through, and all without any repercussions from the adults. again. she stole from me, and i was not allowed to protest. she skipped school by playing sick, and was allowed to out with her friends. i stayed home sick, and had to stay in my room all day. daily she filled my airspace with hateful words and accusations. i reached a point where i no longer wanted to belong. i wanted to end her life. and her fathers life, as he also would humiliate me, sometimes in front of my few friends. my mother never protected me in all this. had someone laid a hand on me, she would have become the mama bear, and ripped them into pieces. but the drama of everyday life, she would not jeopardize her marriage for that. she had her own abandonment issues, and i pitied her and didnt hold her responsible. i knew innately that she wasnt capable. still, i quietly lost my mind for a while.

over the years these mind games and humiliating messages have been the things that set me off. looking back, i see that the only people who have accused me of being crazy are the ones who play the games. im not crazy. i simply have a low tolerance for cruelty. and when its directed at me, my first response is reason, and when that fails, escape. it is only when i am cornered, or prevented from escape, that i have become enraged. as the Word of God has changed me, the circle of influence that can trigger me has grown smaller and closer in to me, so there are fewer who can move me to that point. with that change has come more wisdom on how to deal with it effectively. but im not there yet.

at least now, after that conversation the other night, i see thing for what it is much better. and with more understanding comes more liberty.

the day the trees broke

Technorati Tags: ice storm,power outage,storm

it was exactly a week ago today i drank my last cup of the iced coffee i keep on hand. i didnt make anymore that morning, and regretted it later. it was pretty cold outside, and after a while it began to rain. i had spent saturday cleaning, and was settling in to enjoy a peaceful day at home. the beau was sleeping in, recovering from a wicked cold. it was nothing to compare to the wicked cold moving into the state.

soon the rain turned to ice rain, and began to coat the world outside. it wouldnt stop, and the ice began to build on anything with a surface. winter was here, and she was not in a pretty mood. even jack frost kept away as she swept her icy robes over everything in sight, over and over again. hour after hour the ice rain fell. by late afternoon there was about an inch or more of ice on everything. my house is in an old neighborhood, and we have some of the largest, oldest trees around, many having too much deadwood because no one seems to want to cut anything tree related. ‘theyre too pretty to cut’. not anymore theyre not.

thats when it started. first there was a loud cracking sound, as a branch began to splinter. then the horrendous crash as it fell. a few at first. then they began to come down all over. not just my neighborhood, or my city, but all across the state, and several others as well. i think my house must have been in the very eye of the storm, because we were hit the hardest, at least in tulsa, for broken trees and downed lines. oh yes, i forgot to mention the bright blue flashes magnified by the icy rains and clouds, the ones i thought were snow lightning. blue, green, and red flashes began to burst all over the skies. silly me. that was the transformers exploding as lines were ripped out when trees fell.

it was a very quiet storm, as storms go. except for the timbers breaking and falling, there was very little else to hear. no wind, oh thank You Jesus! wind would have taken us off the map. there were a few house fires, and several people killed or injured, but nothing like it would have been had there been wind. no, it was eerily silent other than the breaking trees, and the occasional car alarm.

the sound kept up through the night. by morning there was a different world out there. we ventured out to see if we could get to the beaus work. there were icy limbs and branches everywhere, although the streets were merely wet. there were lines down as well. we picked our way through this surreal environment like a character in a video game searching for a workable route. we made it, only to find out there was no power at his place of work. they sent everyone home after about 15 minutes. when we got home, there was no power at our house either.

there was no power anywhere.

250,000 people in tulsa alone were without power. across the state, closer to 1,000,000. very few escaped without losing their electricity. we spent monday at home, as most of my coworkers did too, although my clinic was open and the building, one of about five powered by the hospital generators, had power. the clinic did close early however, as only about three patients made it in.

we dont have a generator as a few on my block do, but were still better off than many. we have a gas fireplace, and a gas water heater, halogen flashlights, and a gas stove. we also only had a large treelike bush in one corner of the yard. it was snapped in half, but that was the only damage we sustained. God has blessed us with a very good choice of house. many of my neighbors had big trees in there yards. the old house, three blocks from our new house, had several huge tree. the operative word here is had.  the beautiful oak in the front yard is ruined, and the two huge trees in the back that always gave us problems, well they wont be giving anyone else problems now.

we had to ride it out for seven days. the president declared it a disaster area, releasing funds to bring in 2400 additional power workers, who pushed very hard to get everyone back up and running before the next storm - which skirted my town. my neighborhood was among the last to be restored, because it had the worst damages to lines. but saturday morning, as the beau was coming back from the laundromat, a fleet of five trucks followed him right to our house. i never saw such a beautiful set of trucks! by late afternoon, about 4:30 PM, there was the most welcome knock on the door, and the young man on the porch asked us if our main breaker was on. “well, turn it on, you have power now.”  i could have kissed him!

this morning the sky is brilliant blue, and the ice is long gone. im sitting here enjoying myself at the computer again, drinking fresh made coffee, and listening to the heater blowing warm air. we slept in our bed for the first time in seven days. we watched TV last night, and i vacuumed up much kitty litter. ah, the little joys of life.

i love winter, but she can sure be a harsh mistress at times.

click here for pictures

sammys life

since 2001, when sammy was first diagnosed with diabetes, many things have changed in my way of life. back then we also had spook, lee’s black cat of the same age. they were both fourteen then. spook, because of tartar and resulting gingivitis, developed acute kidney failure and almost died. the vet gave us two days at best. that’s when we first began to stand on psalm 145. we claimed spooks life back, and he recovered, although we did have to give him a new diet to accommodate his loss of kidney function. he went on to live for two more years.

sammy, during this time, was contending with the diabetes, or rather the treatment of it. we tried humulin, and she kept crashing. she was on a restricted calorie diet because she was overweight, and she was constantly hungry because of the insulin. she became dehydrated, and then her kidneys and her liver crashed, she got down to 4lbs, and she nearly died. we continued to stand on psalm 145, and she began to recover. eventually we settled on .5mg of glipizide before meals, twice daily. this, and lee’s work schedule, resulted in my getting up early every morning to feed the two elderly cats before getting him up to get ready for work. a schedule i still maintain, even though spook is no longer with us.

recently i had to put her on insulin again, because her kidneys began to fail again. she had been on a low carb high protein kitten food diet along with the oral medication to keep her blood sugar down, and it was working fine. but years of high protein had taken a toll on her kidneys. this meant a new diet for her, sort of upsetting the balance we had maintained for so long. the new diet was lower in protein, but higher in carbs. i was apprehensive about the insulin, but now feline insulin was available. she tolerated it well, and we moved on again. soon we had to start giving her subcutaneous fluids at home, because her kidneys dont do an adequate job hydrating her. so she gets 200ml three times a week.

another thing a diabetic cat encounters is neuropathy. her hind legs do not work like they used to. she walks okay, but her hind legs do not have the strength they once had. this also contributes to some recent incontinence. its all because of nerve damage due to the higher levels of glucose that we cant avoid now. she sleeps on the couch in the evenings, after dinner, and sleeps so deeply she doesnt know she has to pee. she starts to pee before she wakes up. this is a problem, obviously. she can get into the big litterbox, but doesnt always make it all the way in before she starts to go. so i have a rug under the box, with a rubber bathmat under the rug, to save my wood floor. she has been hard on the floors over the last seven years. it works out, but there is the couch to consider now.

so, i looked up pet diapers online - handicapedpets.com -  and found a site that offers a free sample to try first. i ordered one for sammy, xs plus up to 4lbs. of course.

ah how things have changed for sammy and me over the years. but i will continue to do what i must for her to live comfortably and retain as much freedom of movement as possible. she is more than a pet to me. she is, on many levels, my friend.

randomizing

its saturday, and my second four day weekend in a row. i have a few more days vacation around Christmas, and then the year begins all over again. i like saturdays. the world opens up to me on saturday.

yesterday i washed the canine and feline kanji off the windows while the beau organized the computer room. he isnt done yet, but he made much progress. this room hadnt been really organized since we moved in, because we were focused on the rest of the house first.

nosomi is in the hallway singing to her plastic milk carton ring. she loves to carry it around and caterwaul. its ridiculously funny. the feline hierarchy has turned out as i predicted. thor loves her, and they play together all the time. gizmo doesnt like her, but he doesnt like any of the other cats too much. maggie sometimes likes her and attempts to play, and sometimes is her little psycho self and runs up at her, hisses, and runs off. nosi is likely to let out a most unearthly banshee screech at such times. usually late at night. cinnamon just keeps track of every one, and then wants to play with us.

i went out once yesterday to price an iron arch i had seen in a shop near here. it looks like a good item to make the head board i need so i can turn the bed diagonal in the bedroom. they are asking $249 for it. i am still considering it. its a black wrought iron, simple, and about the right size. i didnt measure it, although i probably should have. it looks right. a regular head board for a king sized bed will be too wide. the problem is how to attach it so it will be a back for the pillows, since the bed wont be flush up against the wall. hmmm …

the weather has finally gotten cold, and the sky this morning is overcast. much to my liking. its not that i dont like the sun. i just get tired of it. cloudy days offer a whole other feeling to the world. i welcome the cold as well. now i can get out my boots, my sweaters, and the long stockings that i love.

today i must tackle the remaining few boxes in the front room. with them cleared out, i can finally finish putting up mirrors and pictures, and get my workout room ordered to my liking. the beau probably thinks i have lost interest in my treadmill. but i havent. that, like everything else, has to have a routine for it. i am looking forward to getting this last thing done. pictures to come, of course.

i am pleased to say that i have maintained my 15lb loss of weight, and am about to shed more. i have a goal to reach 130lbs. i like that weight. one of my coworkers believes once you reach a certain age certain things have to happen. i do not subscribe to that thinking. i believe all things are possible to him who believes.

well, im off to my tasks.

Gods will

Gods will. there’s a controversial subject. many heated debates have ended unresolved over this one question of what Gods will is. i try to stay out of such arguments, but i have been faced with a few zealous brethren whose desire it was to straighten me out over certain matters. but it was too late for that, because i had already believed Gods word over traditional doctrine in those matters. well meaning people tend to get very upset if you dont agree with tradition over healing, prosperity, and protection. they will almost violently oppose the idea that, say, its always Gods will to heal. even though the Bible teaches this, and Jesus demonstrated it.

i have never been very religious. i would rather know what i believe, and know why i believe it. its like building on a rock. rain cant wash it away from under you, and wind cant blow you off it. so when i first began to see people drawing conclusions about Gods will based on past events and circumstance, and mostly guessing and speculating about what His will is, i knew i couldnt go through life that way. i had already settled it in my heart that the Bible is Gods word. it stood to reason, then, that His will would match His word.

the first thing i asked to know about was healing. was it always His will, or was it ever His will? i saw a lot of sick ‘believers’. immediately my mind went to the gospels, and the scriptures that quoted Jesus as saying ‘if you have seen me, you have seen the Father. I do as I see Him do’. ok, so i looked for examples of Jesus not healing some one, saying God wanted to teach them something from the sickness. i couldnt find any. every time someone came to Him for healing, He healed them.

i also asked Him if He really allowed the devil to teach us things. i was willing to submit to it, if it was how He wanted to do things. again He led me to three scriptures.

• first was colossians 2:15, which says that Christ spoiled principalities and made a spectacle of them publicly. in those days, when you conquered and enemy, it wasnt uncommon to parade them in cages to show your dominion over them.
• second was hebrews 2:14, which says Christ became flesh like us, in order to destroy him who had the power of death. the word used means to render entirely idle.
• third was 1 john 3:8, which says Christ also destroyed the works of the devil. the word used here means to loosen, like loosening ties in such a way they cant be used again.

then He asked me if He so dealt with the devil, and then also gave me authority over him, why would He then ‘allow’ the devil to do anything to me? in fact, how could He, if He already gave me authority over the devil? well the answer is He doesnt and He cant.

there is a lot more i can say about all this. a lot more. i have a post brewing about the book of job, which i will be writing soon.

but i just wanted wanted to say here that i have reasons for what i believe. i dont just take up a teaching  because i like the teacher. it has to be true. there has to be something solid to put my feet on. it has to more than feel right, or seem to make sense, for me. neither do i try to make the scripture fit my world.

i decided a long time ago that the word of God was the final authority. it is what God thinks, what He has done, and what He believes. it is also my covenant of blood with Him. it always works.